Just figured out I'd been leading book club debates wrong for 2 years

I run a small book club in Denver and I always thought the best debates came from picking apart the plot or characters. But last month we read "The Martian" and I started the discussion asking everyone if they thought the science was realistic. It was a total flop, people just nodded or said "yeah" and we sat in silence for 10 minutes. Then one member, a dude named Tom, finally said "can we talk about why Mark Watney never once mentioned missing his family?" That question sparked a wild 90 minute debate about isolation and human connection. I realized I'd been doing it all wrong by asking big vague questions instead of personal ones that hit people in the feels. Now I prep 3-4 questions about character emotions or choices instead of themes, and every meeting runs over time. Has anyone else found a specific question style that kills conversation in your group?

3 comments

3 Comments

jessica7071mo ago

Think about what made Tom's question work so well. Why do you think asking about a character ignoring something feels more personal than asking about what's accurate or true? Maybe the silence says more about how we connect to what's missing rather than what's there.

juliarodriguez1mo ago

Right, because nothing says "relatable character" like pretending something doesn't exist. @jessica707, you've basically described half my weekday mornings when I ignore the pile of laundry in the corner. Silence does speak louder sometimes, especially when it's saying "I don't want to deal with this." Maybe Tom's onto something with the whole avoidance angle.

the_hayden1mo agoMost Upvoted

Three years of open houses taught me that the best questions are always the ones people answer without realizing they're answering them. When you ask what a character avoids, you're basically inviting someone to show you the fault lines in their own life without even trying.