Loading…

Cut off my cousin after 8 years of one-sided favors | Burned Bridges Club - Free To Speak

Cut off my cousin after 8 years of one-sided favors

My cousin in Austin only reached out when she needed a ride, cash, or someone to watch her dog, and I finally said no last Thursday after she asked for $200 with no plan to pay back. She called me selfish and hung up, which actually made it easier to block her number for good. Has anyone else had a relative pull the victim card when you set one boundary?

2 comments

2 Comments

baker.holly1d ago

That part about them hearing "no" as breaking some deal you never agreed to is so true it hurts. It's like in their head there's this whole contract where you give and they take, and you never even got to look at it. The silence after blocking really is louder because at least the fights gave you something to react to, and now it's just quiet and you're sitting there wondering if you're the crazy one. You're not. When someone only shows up with their hand out, that's not a relationship, that's a tab. Eight years of rides and cash and dog sitting adds up to way more than $200, and the second you stop paying, suddenly you're the problem? That tells you everything about what you were to her. The peace you get back is worth way more than the guilt she tried to hand you on her way out.

sagecooper1d ago

Man, the victim card thing is so real. I heard a therapist on a podcast say that people like that don't actually hear "no" as a boundary, they hear it as you breaking some unspoken deal you never agreed to. That clicked for me because my uncle pulled the exact same thing when I stopped loaning him my truck. Suddenly I was the bad guy after like six years of him never putting gas in it. The weird part is the silence after you block them feels louder than the fights ever did. You did the right thing though, $200 with no plan to pay back is not a ask, that's a bill.