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Debate: Should you tell someone why you're cutting them off or just ghost?
I was at a coffee shop downtown last Saturday and overheard two friends arguing about this exact thing. One said ghosting is cowardly, the other said explaining just gives toxic people ammo to argue with you. I've done both - told a childhood friend exactly why I was done after she called me a loser for not taking her side, and that took 3 days of back-and-forth texts before I blocked her. Other time I just stopped replying to a cousin who borrowed $500 and never paid me back, and honestly that felt cleaner. What do you guys think is better in the long run? Has anyone here regretted giving a full explanation to someone who didn't deserve it?
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jana8811mo ago
Totally feel you on that "turned it into a whole thing" vibe, baker.holly. I read this article once that said explanations can give toxic people a script to argue with, and they just use it to drag you back in. Told a guy I was friends with that I was cutting him off because he kept making jokes about my weight, and he spent two hours trying to convince me I was too sensitive. Like, nah bro, I'm just done. Short honest goodbye and no debates is the way, unless they're someone who actually respects you.
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baker.holly1mo ago
Got ghosted by a guy I dated for three months and spent two weeks wondering if he got hit by a bus, so I swore I'd always explain after that. Told a former friend exactly why I was done after she kept ditching me for her new boyfriend, and she turned it into a whole thing where I was the jealous one. Now I lean toward a short honest goodbye and then walking away, no debating allowed.
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