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Found a simple trick that finally cut off my mom's guilt trips for good
My mom would call every Sunday and find some way to bring up how I never visit enough. I tried setting boundaries for two years but she'd just guilt me harder. Last month I started ending every call after 10 minutes on the dot with a firm 'gotta go' and I don't pick up again until the next Sunday. Has anyone else used a strict time limit to break a toxic pattern like this?
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jakewhite1mo agoTop Commenter
Ten minute limit, huh? That's all it takes to get them to start respecting the clock like it's a bank vault. My mom used to stretch a simple "how's the weather" into a three hour interrogation about my life choices. Now I just say "alright love you bye" at the nine minute mark and hang up mid-sentence if I have to. She learned real quick that whining eats up her precious time slot.
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aaronsullivan1mo ago
Man that's rough but I get it completely... my dad does the same thing where a quick check in turns into a full blown recap of everything going wrong in his life. Setting a hard boundary like that feels mean at first but it's honestly the only thing that works. I had to start telling my grandma "okay I've got 10 minutes" before she even gets going or else she'll talk me into a corner about my job and my relationships. The guilt trips are the worst part though... they act like you're cutting them off just to be cruel instead of saving your own sanity.
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barbara_grant41mo agoMost Upvoted
Wait, are you sure about the nine minute mark? I've found that if I don't start wrapping up at five or six minutes, I'm sunk. Maybe it depends on the person, but in my experience the guilt trip gets worse if you let it go that long.
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