Had a weird talk with my mailman that made me rethink a 20 year friendship

Dave said he noticed my friend's truck in my driveway every Saturday for 6 months but never saw him get out to help me unload supplies. Got me thinking about how many times I carried 80 pound bags of concrete mix alone while he sat in the cab scrolling his phone. Anyone else had a total stranger point out something obvious about a relationship you were blind to?

3 comments

3 Comments

sean_green4425d agoOG Member

My buddy Chris had this neighbor he'd been cool with for years, always helping him move furniture or jump his car. One day the neighbor's sister came by and asked Chris why he was always doing favors for a guy who never once offered to help him back. Chris got defensive at first but then started paying attention. Turns out the neighbor never even said thanks half the time, just expected help whenever he needed it. They aren't friends anymore and Chris says he's way less stressed now. Sometimes it takes a total outsider to make you see the scoreboard.

lewis.mila25d ago

My neighbor Tom borrowed my lawnmower three times before I realized he never even brought it back clean, just left it out with grass all over it... @sean_green44 this is exactly why I stopped being the neighborhood "helpful guy." I once spent a whole Saturday helping someone move their whole apartment and they didn't even offer me a water, just said "thanks" and closed the door. Took my own sister pointing it out for me to notice I was being used like a free rental service. Now I just say "sorry, I'm busy" and my stress levels are way down too.

angelarivera24d ago

That moving story hit hard. It's wild how people will take and take without even thinking about what they're not giving back. The sister calling out the neighbor for never offering to help really puts it in perspective. Sometimes we get so used to being the helper that we don't see the imbalance until someone points it out. Glad you and Chris both figured it out and are less stressed now. Boundaries are everything.