F
3

My sister called me out on being the toxic one and it stung hard

For years I thought I was just setting boundaries with my mom, but my sister Sarah finally told me I was being cold and cutting people off too fast. She pointed out I stopped talking to our cousin Mark over a joke he made 4 years ago that I never even gave him a chance to explain. That hit me because I prided myself on being strong for walking away, but really I was just avoiding hard conversations. Has anyone else had a family member flip the script on you like that?
3 comments

Log in to join the discussion

Log In
3 Comments
park.miles
park.miles29d ago
The hard part is that pride thing you mentioned. How do you separate the pride you felt in "being strong" from actually just being scared to deal with the messiness of real relationships? Like did that pride actually make it harder for you to see what you were doing?
7
jasonf35
jasonf3529d ago
My sister said the same thing to me about my pride being a wall, not a strength. That validation you mention is like a drug, makes you feel right even when you're hurting people you actually care about. Took me a while to see that real strength is sitting in the awkwardness and trying to work it out, not just walking away clean.
4
the_olivia
the_olivia29d ago
Ngl that validation is easier to stomach than facing your own part in things.
1