That chat with my cousin about our dead dad really shook me

My cousin Mark called me last Saturday out of nowhere, we haven't talked in like 3 years. He said our dad's old fishing buddies still get together every June and they asked about us, and it hit me how much I've been avoiding the whole family thing since dad passed. He told me 'you don't have to forgive your uncle for the fight at the funeral, but you're missing out on the good memories too.' Made me wonder if I'm holding onto the anger because it's easier than dealing with the loss. Has anyone else had a random family member say something that made you rethink a cut-off?

3 comments

3 Comments

hugos4625d ago

Did your cousin actually say something you hadn't already thought yourself, or was it more about hearing it from someone who was there too? I've noticed sometimes we know the right thing to do in our gut, but it takes another person giving us permission to actually do it. The part about missing the good memories - that's what's always stuck with me when I've been in similar situations. What's the strongest good memory you have of your dad that you've been pushing away?

diana_kim6624d ago

Oh wow, that's such a good question and now I'm sitting here panicking like I'm on a game show trying to remember my favorite childhood memory. But yeah, you're totally right about needing that permission from someone else - my gut was screaming at me but I needed my cousin to hand me the keys to the car, so to speak.

alicecraig24d ago

lol right? Its like your brain needs a hall pass from someone else before it lets you actually do the thing you already knew you were gonna do. My therapist would have a field day with that.