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Told my cousin I needed a break from our weekly calls, and the voice memo trick made it stick
My cousin and I talked on the phone every Sunday for like nine years, and for the past two of those it turned into her dumping every problem on me for an hour while I said uh huh. I tried the slow fade first, just answering less, but she'd text my mom asking if I was mad at her, so that flopped. Then a buddy at work told me about the voice memo move, where instead of a live call you send a short recorded message, because it lets you say your piece without getting pulled into a two hour back and forth. I sent her one that was about 90 seconds, said I care about her but I can't be the person she unloads on every week anymore, and asked if we could do a real call once a month instead. She sent back a long text calling me cold, and I sat with that for a day, but I didn't cave. It's been about three months now, we talked once in April about her kid's birthday, and honestly the quiet on Sunday nights is weird but good. Anyone else used the voice memo thing to set a boundary, or does texting the hard stuff work better for you?
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the_max26d ago
My buddy Dave tried the voice memo thing with his brother who called every night at 9pm for three years. Dave sent a two minute memo saying he needed to cut it to weekends, and his brother showed up at his house the next day unannounced. Total opposite of your deal. But Dave held the line, and six months later they talk every Saturday morning for like twenty minutes and it's way better.
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