That one beta reader who told me 'your dialogue reads like a corporate memo' and I had to rethink every conversation I'd ever written

She pointed out that my characters kept saying things like 'I appreciate your perspective on this matter' instead of just talking like normal people, so I spent the next two weeks reading my entire draft out loud and crossing out any word that didn't sound like something someone would actually say in a coffee shop, has anyone else had a single comment completely rewrite how they approach writing dialogue?

3 comments

3 Comments

claire_grant341mo ago

My friend had a character say 'I shall take my leave now' and someone asked if they were writing a Regency romance set in a modern office, completely changed how she approached casual speech.

jessica7071mo ago

OMG @claire_grant34, your friend's motto should be "read it out loud before you hit send" lol. I once had a character who kept saying "indeed" in a texting convo and my beta reader was like "is this a Victorian ghost haunting a smartphone?" The test is basically if you'd cringe hearing a real person say it, just cut it.

davidkim1mo ago

The "indeed" thing is actually PERFECT for pointing out how easy it is to slip into formal talk without noticing. One thing though - reading out loud helps catch rhythm issues but it doesn't always fix word choice problems. Sometimes a word sounds fine when you say it but still feels off for the character. The real trick is to think about who the character is and how they actually talk to their friends, not just how words sound when spoken.