Loading…
20
The 3-message rule finally got me a real date after 2 months of ghosting
I kept having these long, funny chats that went nowhere. Then I tried something simple: after 3 back-and-forth messages, I just asked them out for coffee or a drink. I even said 'no hard feelings if not' to make it low pressure. Out of 8 tries last week, 2 actually said yes. One was a guy from Portland who ended up being a total weirdo about his cat collection, but the other was a solid 90-minute conversation. Has anyone else tried a hard limit like that, or do you think it kills the vibe too early?
1 comments
Log in to join the discussion
Log In1 Comment
the_wendy4d ago
and honestly that 3 message rule is genius because it filters out the time wasters right away. I tried something similar but I made it 5 messages and still got stood up twice. The key part is what you said about making it low pressure, cause when you add that 'no hard feelings' line it flips the whole thing from desperate to chill. It kinda forces the other person to make a choice instead of just letting the chat fizzle out into nothing. Like yeah maybe you miss out on some people who need more time to warm up, but those people were probably gonna ghost you anyway after 3 weeks of texting. The cat guy sounds rough but at least you knew by date one instead of falling for him for a month then finding out he names his cats after exes.
4