c/dating-app-disasters

26

christopherh79•10h ago

My buddy swore Hinge profile pics with fish were a dealbreaker, he was dead wrong.

So my friend Mark kept telling me to ditch the fishing pic on my Hinge profile. Said no woman wants to see a dead fish. I kept it up anyway because I spend half my summer on the lake. Got 12 matches in two weeks and 3 of them brought up the fish photo first thing. One girl said it showed I actually do stuff outside. So yeah Mark, your advice tanked. I'm keeping the fish pic. Anyone else get nonsense rules from friends that backfired?

21

reese_lee9•2d ago

Picked the guy with the dog pic over the guy with the mountain pic

I was swiping on Hinge like 2 weeks ago and had to decide between this one guy who had 3 photos with his golden retriever and another guy who only had photos from hiking in Colorado. I went with the dog guy because I thought it meant he was more chill. We met for coffee and he spent the whole time talking about his dog's diet and grooming schedule. Has anyone else found that dog pics are misleading sometimes?

28

brianm66•3d ago

Switched from long bios to short punchy ones and my match rate tripled in 2 weeks

I used to write these novel-length bios on Tinder trying to be funny and show my whole personality. Lots of jokes, lists of hobbies, even a quote from a movie lol. Got like maybe one match a week if I was lucky. Then a buddy told me to cut it down to like 3 sentences max - just say what I do for work, one thing I'm into, and what I'm looking for. I tested it out for 2 weeks in Toronto and went from 2 matches to 7 in that time. It felt wrong at first like I was being too boring but people actually read the short version. Has anyone else tried shortening their bio and seen a difference?

23

lunah12•7d ago

Tried the 'be super honest in my bio' approach and it backfired hard

So I got tired of the usual dating app fluff and decided to put in my bio that I'm a bartender at a dive bar and work late nights, plus that I'm not looking for anything serious right now. Thought it would save everyone time. Within 2 days I got 3 messages from guys who wanted me to buy them drinks after my shift, and one guy literally showed up at the bar asking for me by name even though we never matched. He said he saw my profile and figured it was a 'sign' to come meet me. I had to get my manager to tell him to leave. Learned that being too specific can attract the wrong kind of attention. Has anyone else tried the 'brutally honest' approach and had it blow up in their face?

27

davidkim•7d ago

Rant: I spent 2 years using gym selfies before a friend told me it was repelling matches

I thought showing off my progress at the gym would work. Every pic was me flexing in a mirror at Planet Fitness. Then my friend Sarah flat out said "dude that makes you look like a try-hard." She showed me my own profile and I cringed. I swapped to a photo of me hiking at Red Rock Canyon last fall and my match rate went up like 4x in a week. Anybody else miss something obvious like that?

2

pat_moore•9d ago

Matched with a girl who sent me a 12 page manifesto on date 2

So last Thursday I match with this girl on Hinge, we chat for a few days, seems normal. We meet for coffee at a Starbucks near my place in Austin, and the first hour is fine. Then she pulls out a binder full of printed pages and says "here's my rulebook for dating me." It had like sections on texting response times, acceptable restaurants, and even a clause about what to do if I see her ex in public. I just sat there nodding for 20 minutes then made up an excuse about my dog being sick. Has anyone else gotten something this extreme on a second date?

21

jamieb80•9d ago

I used to send the same opening line to every match for like 3 years...

My go-to was always 'Hey, how was your weekend?' because I thought it was safe and easy. Then a girl I matched with on Hinge in Seattle replied 'You know you can see my weekend photos on my profile right?' and I realized I was being super lazy. She unmatched before I could even reply, but that moment made me see how my generic opens were probably getting ignored by everyone else too. I started actually reading profiles and asking about specific things, and my reply rate went up a ton. Has anyone else had a wake-up call about their opening messages?

22

the_tessa•10d ago

How my profile pics got 100% worse in just 6 months

I used to get 10 matches a week on Hinge with bright, natural photos taken outside, but then I switched to dim bar selfies and now I'm lucky to get 2. The big change was me trying to look more 'cool and mysterious' instead of happy, and it totally backfired. Has anyone else ruined their dating luck by swapping out their real life pics for filtered ones?

28

sethfoster•10d ago

That 'just be yourself' advice for dating profiles is actually terrible

After watching my buddy swipe for 2 hours last week i realized most people's profiles are so vague and boring because they're trying to be 'themselves' instead of showing one specific interesting thing about their life, like a photo of them actually doing something they love instead of a mirror selfie, has anyone else noticed generic profiles get way less matches?

13

kimfisher•11d ago

Just figured out the 3-photo trick for first messages

I was sending these long intros on Hinge and getting zero replies. Then I started only sending messages about the third photo in their profile, and my response rate went up to like 40% in 2 weeks. Anyone else notice people put the most interesting stuff there?

23

kim_ramirez3•12d ago

Spent $50 on a background check for a date and it saved me big time

I matched with this girl on Tinder who seemed perfect, great job, nice pictures, all that. We talked for a week before I got a weird feeling about some of her stories not lining up. So I paid $50 for one of those online background check sites, figured it was worth it. Turns out she had a felony for fraud and was using a fake name. I dodged that bullet hard, and now I run a quick check on anyone before the first date if something feels off. Has anyone else tried this or do you think it's too much?

8

morgan_king36•14d ago

Used to send the same first message to everyone - big mistake

I used to just copy-paste the same generic opener to every match, thinking it saved time. But after getting zero responses for two weeks straight in February, I changed my approach. Now I spend 30 seconds looking at their profile and ask about one specific thing, like their trip to Asheville or that weird plant in their photo. It takes a bit longer but my reply rate went from like 5% to 40% almost overnight. Anyone else found that custom messages actually work way better than the old copy-paste method?

12

faith_shah88•14d ago

Swiped right 47 times in one night and got zero matches back

I spent last Saturday evening binge-swiping on Hinge, thought I was being picky but still went through 47 profiles before my daily limit kicked in. Not a single one matched me back, and I even sent thoughtful comments on about 15 of them. Has anyone else hit a weird milestone like that where the numbers just made you feel invisible?

9

ryanm60•1mo ago

Finally matched with someone who actually reads profiles

Had to choose between two matches last week. One was super hot but clearly just swiped on everyone. Other girl mentioned liking the same obscure band from Milwaukee. Picked the band girl. We talked for 3 hours about a show we both went to in 2018. Crazy what happens when you actually look at bios.

16

leehall•1mo ago

Shoutout to my buddy's blind date story from 2006

I was grabbing coffee this morning and overheard two girls laughing about a Tinder date where the guy showed up in full camo. Made me think back to when my buddy Dave met his wife through a dating site back in 2006. You had to write actual paragraphs about yourself and wait for emails to load on dial up. Has anyone else noticed dating totally lost that slow burn feeling?

18

evahenderson•1mo ago

Had to choose between the guy who seemed perfect on paper and the one who was a walking red flag

I matched with two guys last month. One was a 32 year old accountant who had a stable job, a dog, and seemed super normal. The other guy was covered in face tattoos but genuinely made me laugh with his dumb jokes. I went with the accountant because I thought I was being smart. We went to a nice Italian place downtown and he spent the whole night arguing with the waiter about the wine list, then asked me to split the bill for his $78 bottle. Has anyone else found that picking the "safe" option backfired in a crazy way?

23

baker.holly•1mo ago

Matched with a guy who sent me a 47-paragraph manifesto about why pineapple belongs on pizza

I swiped right on a guy who seemed normal, but after three messages he copy pasted this Absolutely insane essay arguing that pineapple pizza haters are secretly communist and I unmatched after the second paragraph, has anyone else gotten a weirdly intense food rant from a date?

25

foster.tessa•1mo ago

That one guy who brought his mom to our first date in Austin convinced me to always ask about living situations first.

He showed up with her at the coffee shop and said, 'Mom wanted to see if you're nice,' and I just sat there for 45 minutes while she interviewed me about my job and my credit score, so now I always ask 'who lives with you' before I agree to meet someone, has anyone else dealt with a parent tagging along?

7

gavin228•1mo ago

Swiped right on a girl who had 'pasta lover' in her bio and it turned into a 3 hour first date

So I got sick of the same old boring convos on Hinge where it's just 'hey how was your day' for 2 weeks straight. I started looking for profiles that had something really specific I could work with, not just generic stuff like 'I love hiking'. This one girl said she could eat pasta every day so I asked her what her go-to sauce was and if she judged people who put ketchup on spaghetti. She laughed and we ended up talking on the app for like 20 minutes about the best noodle shapes. Met up at this Italian place in Philly last Saturday and we sat there until they closed at 10pm. The trick was finding one tiny detail in her profile and turning it into a joke or a question that showed I actually read it. Anyone else find that picking something super random from their bio works way better than a generic opener?

22

nelson.vera•1mo ago

Finally matched with someone who laughed at my bread puns after 2 years of crickets

I have been on and off Hinge for about 2 years now, mostly just getting ghosted or weird one-word replies. But last Tuesday I matched with this girl named Sarah who actually read my whole profile, not just my photos. My profile has this dumb joke about how I am gluten intolerant but still date bread because I am a rebel. She messaged me first and said her favorite bread is sourdough and asked if that was a dealbreaker. We ended up texting for like 3 hours that night about bakery conspiracies and bad pizza toppings. It felt surreal because normally I get left on read after saying hi. Has anyone else had a random pun break the ice and lead to a real conversation? I am curious if dumb humor works better than serious bios.

18

hannah320•1mo ago

Switched my profile pictures after a friend told me to smile less and it actually worked

I used to have all these pictures with big cheesy smiles thinking that's what guys wanted to see. After 3 months of almost no matches on Bumble my buddy said my photos looked fake like I was trying too hard. So I swapped most of them for pictures where I'm just looking normal or laughing at something real. One is me holding a coffee cup mid-conversation at a shop in Portland. Matches went from maybe 1 a week to 4 in the first 3 days. Anyone else find that forced smiles kill your vibe in profile pics?

18

martin.riley•1mo ago

That woman who asked me for Venmo before our first coffee date

I matched with someone from Aurora last month who spent 45 minutes texting me about her landscaping business and then asked me to send her $20 for gas before she'd agree to meet at a Starbucks, and I still wonder if that's a new form of dating app scam or just someone being aggressively practical.

6

murphy.tessa•1mo ago

That guy who brought his mom on a first date to Olive Garden in Toledo

I matched with a guy named Mark on Hinge last spring and we agreed to meet at the Olive Garden on Reynolds Road in Toledo. He showed up with his mom and said she wanted to make sure I was "nice enough" before he committed to a second date. She asked me my salary and if I wanted kids within the first 10 minutes, then Mark spent the whole time texting his ex. Has anyone else dealt with a date bringing a parent along unsolicited?

20

pat_moore•1mo ago

A guy I matched with said his ex made him sign a contract about how often they had sex

He was totally serious about it too, said it helped them communicate better, but I unmatched right after he told me that story because who thinks that's a good icebreaker for a first date?

15

angelaw78•1mo ago

That time I showed up to a date and realized I was catfished by 10 years and 30 pounds

Honestly, I matched with this guy on Hinge who said he was 32 and looked exactly like his pics. I drove 45 minutes to a coffee shop in Arlington, and this dude who looked like my dad's friend walked up to me. His profile said he loved hiking, but he huffed just walking from the door to my table. I sat through 20 minutes of him telling me his ex was crazy before I made up an excuse about my dog being sick and left. Has anyone else dealt with someone who clearly used pics from like 2014?