c/dating-app-disasters

Matched with a guy last month who showed up to the coffee date with his mom. She did all the talking.

Vent: My sister told me to always meet for coffee first, but I ignored it and paid the price

She said a quick 30 minute coffee date is the best filter for weirdos, but I thought a guy who suggested a fancy dinner in Seattle was being serious. We met last Thursday, and he spent the whole two hour meal talking about his ex and then asked to split the $180 bill. I was stuck there the whole time. Now I get why my sister gave that rule. Has anyone else had a simple piece of dating app advice save them from a bad situation?

The guy from Bumble who showed up wearing a full, realistic horse head mask to our coffee date in Austin

He said it was 'to break the ice' and then just silently drank his latte through the mouth hole for twenty minutes, so what's the weirdest opener you've actually had work?

Matched with a guy who said he was a pilot, but his 'plane' was a flight simulator in his mom's basement

This was last month on Hinge. He sent a picture of him in a captain's hat, so I asked about his routes. He said he flew 'international,' but got nervous when I asked which airline. After two dates, he finally admitted he was a grocery store clerk and the 'cockpit' photos were from a $300 game setup. He said, 'It's basically the same thing, right?' Has anyone else had someone lie about their whole job?

My sister told me my profile looked like a job application...

She said my photos were all stiff and my bio was just a list of facts, like 'enjoys hiking, works in finance, 32 years old.' I swapped out the suit pic for one of me laughing at a concert last year. I also added a line about my weird talent for guessing movie plots in the first five minutes. Got three matches in a week after months of nothing. Anyone else get told their profile needed more personality?

The guy who brought his mom on our first date at the zoo

So I matched with this guy named Kevin on Hinge, and we agreed to meet at the city zoo last Saturday. I got there on time and saw him waiting... with a woman who looked about his age. I thought maybe it was his sister, but nope, he introduced her as his mom. She said, 'I just love the penguins, I hope you don't mind I tagged along!' The whole two hours, she walked between us, asked me about my job and if I wanted kids, and even bought us all ice cream. Kevin just smiled like this was totally normal. I was so thrown off I just went along with it. After that, I made a new rule: first dates are coffee only, in a public but neutral spot, for exactly one hour max. Has anyone else had a date bring a surprise third wheel?

Just realized my 'first date at a hardware store' idea actually worked after three failed coffee meetups.

My date brought his mom to our coffee meetup in Austin

We matched on Hinge and agreed to meet at a cafe downtown. I got there early and saw him walk in with a woman who looked about his age, but then she said 'I hope you don't mind, I wanted to see who my son was talking to!' He just shrugged and said 'She drove me.' I sat through 45 minutes of her asking about my job and if I wanted kids. Has anyone else had a parent show up like that?

I think people are too quick to judge a bad first date... mine from last Tuesday in Phoenix actually turned into something good.

Spent $150 on a fancy dinner date from Hinge before she even showed up

Matched with someone who wanted to meet at this upscale steakhouse downtown. She said she'd be there in 20, so I ordered appetizers and drinks while I waited. An hour and $150 later, she unmatched and never came. My big lesson is don't spend real money until you're both physically at the table. Anyone else get burned by paying before the date even starts?

My sister told me ghosting is sometimes the safest option and I'm not sure what to think

She said after a date where a guy got pushy about coming to her place, she just blocked him everywhere. Part of me gets it, but another part thinks a clear 'no thanks' text is better. Where do you all stand on this?

A simple change to my profile pictures got me way better matches

For about three months, I only had one clear headshot and a couple blurry group photos. I got maybe one match a week, and they rarely replied. Last month, I swapped in three new pictures: one of me hiking at Red Rock Canyon, one smiling with my dog, and a clear full-body shot in normal clothes. In the two weeks since, I've matched with eight people who actually start conversations. The difference was showing what I actually do and look like, not just a face. Has anyone else seen a big jump from fixing their photos?

Matched with a guy who said he was a chef, met at a place in Austin and he tried to pay with expired coupons

Honestly, we met at this nice spot on South Congress and the bill came to like $85. He pulls out a stack of paper coupons from 2022 and argues with the server for ten minutes. Tbh I ended up covering the whole thing just to leave. Has anyone else had a date try something this cheap?

Read that 40% of dating app users never meet a match in person, from a university study last month.

On one hand, that's a lot of wasted time. On the other, maybe it just shows people are more careful now. Which side are you on?

Hit 100 matches on Hinge and only one real date

I just hit 100 matches on Hinge after about 3 months, which felt like a big deal. But when I looked back, I've only actually gone on one date from all of them. Most chats just die after a few messages, or they ghost when you try to set something up. It makes you wonder what the point of the number even is. Has anyone else had a huge gap between matches and actual meetups?

My date's profile pic was a 10-year-old photo of his brother

I matched with this guy on Hinge last month, his pictures looked great, super outdoorsy. We met at a coffee shop and I didn't recognize him at all. After an awkward minute, he admitted the main photo was actually his older brother from like 2013, because he 'had better lighting'. I mean, idk, maybe it's just me but that's a whole new level of catfishing. Has anyone else shown up to a date and the person was literally not the one in the pictures?

I tried the 'just be yourself' advice for a month, then switched to a script from a dating coach. The results were... not what I expected.

Honestly, after 6 months of no replies I put 'must be willing to debate the best flavor of Pop-Tart' in my bio. Got 3 dates last week.

Matched with a guy who only talked about his ex-wife's cat

We met for coffee at that place on 5th and Main last week, and within ten minutes he was showing me pictures of this cat named Mr. Whiskers and telling me how his ex got full custody. I finished my drink, told him it seemed like he wasn't really ready to date yet, and left. Has anyone else had a first date that felt more like a therapy session for their last relationship?

Overheard a girl at the coffee shop say her date brought his mom... to a first meet-up from Bumble

Warning about using a friend's profile picture on Hinge

My friend convinced me to use her photo from a trip to Seattle because she said it would get more matches, and after a week this guy showed up at my coffee shop asking for 'Claire from the ferry'. Has anyone else had a date recognize a fake picture right away?

Read a study that 1 in 3 dating app users have never actually gone on a date from the app

Saw it in a Pew Research report from last year. Makes you wonder what everyone is even doing on there, right?

Back in 2019, a date asked me to pick them up from their ex's house

We matched on an app and planned a simple coffee meet. An hour before, she texted 'Can you get me? I'm at my old place and it's awkward.' I drove to the address, and she came out looking stressed, saying her ex was inside. It made the whole vibe weird from the start. Has anyone else had a date start with a rescue mission?

Just read that 42% of people on Hinge have never actually met a match in person

Saw that stat in a news article yesterday and honestly it made me feel a bit better about my own ghosted chats lol. Has anyone here actually met up with more than half their matches?

Honestly, my match rate went from maybe 2 a week to like 10 after I changed one thing in my profile last month