c/dating-app-disasters

TIL a girl told me my opening line was 'too professional' and it totally changed my approach

I matched with this girl Sarah from Austin last month and I always used to start with something like 'Hey, hope you had a great weekend!' thinking it was polite. She replied back saying 'You sound like you're writing a work email, relax a bit.' Honestly that hit me hard because I never realized how stiff I came across. So now I just ask something weird or specific from their profile, like 'What's the best taco truck near you?' and I get way more replies. Has anyone else gotten feedback that totally changed how you message people?

Unpopular take: stop bragging about your job title in your bio

I see it constantly on Hinge and Bumble - "CEO of my own life" or "Managing Director at BigCorp." Nobody cares. I went on three dates last month with a guy who listed himself as "Senior VP of Finance" and he spent the whole time trying to impress me with his salary. Meanwhile my friend met a guy who just said "works at a brewery near Portland" and he actually showed up with good conversation and no ego. Your job title doesn't tell me if you're funny or kind or if you'll ghost me after two messages. Why do people think a fancy title makes up for a blank personality? Anyone else tired of this trend with the career flexing?

Vent: Drove 45 minutes for a date and she brought her friend along

So I matched with this girl on Hinge last week, we talked for a few days, seemed cool. She picked a coffee shop about 45 minutes from my place, which was fine. I get there and she's sitting with her friend, both of them laughing. She just said "hope you don't mind, Sarah wanted to meet you too." I didn't know what to do so I stayed for like 20 minutes then made an excuse to leave. Has anyone else had someone pull this kind of surprise group hangout on a first date?

Matched with someone who lived in my building... found out the hard way why that's a disaster

Swiped right on this guy last Tuesday and we hit it off immediately. Talked for like 3 hours straight about our dogs and favorite pizza spots. Then he sends me a pic of his living room and I realize the view out his window is literally my complex's courtyard. Turns out he lives two floors above me. Fast forward to Friday and I'm walking my dog at 7am in sweats, no makeup, and he's right there at the garbage bin in his boxers. We made awkward eye contact and he just nodded and walked away. We haven't messaged since. Has anyone else dealt with matching with someone way too close for comfort?

Rant: Guy showed up to dinner with his ex sitting at the next table

I matched with a guy on Hinge and we agreed to meet at a taco place in Portland last Friday. About 10 minutes in, his ex walked in with a friend and sat at the table right next to us. He didn't tell me ahead of time she might be there, just acted normal and ordered another round. I asked if he planned this and he said no, but then he kept glancing over at her every 2 minutes. I paid for my tacos and left before the check came. Has anyone else had a date bring an uninvited guest to the table?

Why do people still post shirtless mirror selfies in 2025?

I swear I see at least three of these per day on Hinge and it's always the same thing - guy in a messy bathroom, phone covering half his face, zero context. Last week I matched with someone who had that as his only photo and the conversation lasted 30 seconds. Am I the only one who instantly swipes left on these or do some people actually find them appealing? What's the thought process behind posting one?

I finally got ghosted after a 3 month situationship with a girl from Bumble

Met this girl on Bumble back in October, we hit it off immediately. Talked every single day for 3 months, went on like 8 dates including one to that new ramen spot in Austin. Then out of nowhere she just stopped replying mid conversation. Took me about 2 full weeks of overanalyzing every text to finally accept she wasn't coming back lol. Has anyone else had a situationship drag on way longer than it should have before the ghost?

Friend told me to 'just be myself' on Hinge. Worst advice ever.

So my buddy Jake kept saying just act natural and don't overthink it. Took his advice on a date last week with this girl from Hinge. I spent 20 minutes ranting about my vinyl collection and she literally yawned in my face. Has anyone else had a friend give terrible dating advice that blew up in their face?

Hit 100+ matches on Bumble in one week and it actually freaked me out

Broke my own rule of only coffee dates for first meets

I always told people to stick with coffee or drinks for a first date. Cheap, easy exit if things go bad. But I matched with this girl on Hinge who really wanted to do a full dinner at a nice Italian place downtown. She talked me into it saying coffee dates felt low effort. So I took her to this spot on Main Street, spent $85 on pasta and wine. She spent the whole time on her phone showing me pictures of her cat. I sat there for an hour and a half. Learned my lesson - if someone pushes hard to upgrade the first date before you even meet, that's a red flag. Anyone else get talked into something fancier than you wanted?

Swipe right on 1,000 profiles in one night and the only match I got was a bot selling crypto.

I did the math on my sad Friday and realized I hit 1,000 swipes before midnight with zero real conversations to show for it so is the algorithm just punishing me for having a profile picture taken at a bad angle.

A guy took me to a bowling alley in Philly and totally flipped my dating app routine

So last month I matched with this dude on Hinge and he asked me to go bowling at this old alley in South Philly. I almost said no because my usual first date is drinks at some overpriced cocktail bar where you can barely hear each other. But I went and it was actually genius. We bowled two games and between frames we talked way more naturally than sitting across a table. He was super competitive and kept trash talking me, but in a fun way. The whole thing cost like $30 with shoe rental and a pitcher of beer. I realized I'd been doing dating app dates all wrong for like 3 years just sticking to bars. Ever since then I always suggest something active like bowling or mini golf for a first meet up instead. Has anyone else had a random activity date that completely changed how you approached meeting people from apps?

Swiped right on a sushi date, ended up crying in the bathroom

I met a guy from Hinge at a place called Sakura Bistro in Portland last Friday, he talked about his ex for 45 minutes straight. Then he asked if I could split the $120 bill because he 'forgot his wallet.' Is there a secret handbook for bad first dates I missed out on?

Rant: Matched with a girl who showed up 45 minutes late and ordered a $90 steak

She spent the first 15 minutes on the phone with her mom, then ordered the most expensive thing on the menu without asking. I was stuck with the bill because I felt awkward calling her out. Has anyone else dealt with a date who clearly just wanted a free meal?

The guy who unmatched me for ordering a well-done steak

Matched with a guy named Mark from Brooklyn last week. First date we go to this burger place and I order my burger well-done because that's how I like it. He literally stared at me and said "that's a crime against meat" and then unmatched me before I even finished my fries. Am I crazy for thinking people should just eat what they like without getting judged by someone they just met?

Just matched with someone who sent me 12 voice memos before we even talked

I matched with a woman on Hinge last week who seemed fine at first. Normal profile, normal messages. Then she sent me a voice memo about her cat. Then another about her commute. Then another about the weather. By the time I got to the 12th one I hadn't even replied yet, they just kept coming. Each one was like 2 to 3 minutes long. I listened to the first two and she talked about how her ex ruined her birthday party back in 2019. I unmatched after that. Has anyone else had someone go way overboard with voice notes before you even had a real conversation?

That one time I found out 40% of profiles on Tinder are married or in relationships

I was scrolling some random study from the Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy last week and it said like 40% of people on dating apps are already committed. Blew my mind. I matched with a woman in Dallas who seemed perfect until she mentioned her husband was out of town. Has anyone else run into married people on these apps?

Matched with a guy who took me on a $50 first date that felt like a job interview

So I matched with this dude and we agreed on coffee. He picks me up in a Prius and immediately starts asking about my 5 year plan. The whole date he grilled me on my career goals and salary expectations like I was applying for a VP role. Then he pulls out a printed spreadsheet of his own budget and asks me to review it. I excused myself to the bathroom and just Ubered home. Lost $12 on that ride but saved myself a second date. Has anyone else dealt with someone treating a date like a corporate meeting?

Got told my opener was 'too aggro' by a match who unmatched after I asked her out at message 3

Was that guy who leads with a direct question (you know, skipping the boring small talk) but after three women in a row said I came on too strong I switched to a casual 'how's your week been' approach and saw way more replies, so which is the lesser evil - being upfront and efficient or playing the slow game to avoid scaring people off?

My buddy swore Hinge profile pics with fish were a dealbreaker, he was dead wrong.

So my friend Mark kept telling me to ditch the fishing pic on my Hinge profile. Said no woman wants to see a dead fish. I kept it up anyway because I spend half my summer on the lake. Got 12 matches in two weeks and 3 of them brought up the fish photo first thing. One girl said it showed I actually do stuff outside. So yeah Mark, your advice tanked. I'm keeping the fish pic. Anyone else get nonsense rules from friends that backfired?

Picked the guy with the dog pic over the guy with the mountain pic

I was swiping on Hinge like 2 weeks ago and had to decide between this one guy who had 3 photos with his golden retriever and another guy who only had photos from hiking in Colorado. I went with the dog guy because I thought it meant he was more chill. We met for coffee and he spent the whole time talking about his dog's diet and grooming schedule. Has anyone else found that dog pics are misleading sometimes?

Switched from long bios to short punchy ones and my match rate tripled in 2 weeks

I used to write these novel-length bios on Tinder trying to be funny and show my whole personality. Lots of jokes, lists of hobbies, even a quote from a movie lol. Got like maybe one match a week if I was lucky. Then a buddy told me to cut it down to like 3 sentences max - just say what I do for work, one thing I'm into, and what I'm looking for. I tested it out for 2 weeks in Toronto and went from 2 matches to 7 in that time. It felt wrong at first like I was being too boring but people actually read the short version. Has anyone else tried shortening their bio and seen a difference?

Tried the 'be super honest in my bio' approach and it backfired hard

So I got tired of the usual dating app fluff and decided to put in my bio that I'm a bartender at a dive bar and work late nights, plus that I'm not looking for anything serious right now. Thought it would save everyone time. Within 2 days I got 3 messages from guys who wanted me to buy them drinks after my shift, and one guy literally showed up at the bar asking for me by name even though we never matched. He said he saw my profile and figured it was a 'sign' to come meet me. I had to get my manager to tell him to leave. Learned that being too specific can attract the wrong kind of attention. Has anyone else tried the 'brutally honest' approach and had it blow up in their face?

Rant: I spent 2 years using gym selfies before a friend told me it was repelling matches

I thought showing off my progress at the gym would work. Every pic was me flexing in a mirror at Planet Fitness. Then my friend Sarah flat out said "dude that makes you look like a try-hard." She showed me my own profile and I cringed. I swapped to a photo of me hiking at Red Rock Canyon last fall and my match rate went up like 4x in a week. Anybody else miss something obvious like that?

Matched with a girl who sent me a 12 page manifesto on date 2

So last Thursday I match with this girl on Hinge, we chat for a few days, seems normal. We meet for coffee at a Starbucks near my place in Austin, and the first hour is fine. Then she pulls out a binder full of printed pages and says "here's my rulebook for dating me." It had like sections on texting response times, acceptable restaurants, and even a clause about what to do if I see her ex in public. I just sat there nodding for 20 minutes then made up an excuse about my dog being sick. Has anyone else gotten something this extreme on a second date?