Vent: matched with someone who said 'I only date for marriage' and it made me rethink everything

So I matched with this guy named Dave last week. Within like 5 messages he says he only swipes right if he sees a future wife. No casual dates, no seeing where things go. It hit different because I usually do the whole "let's just hang and vibe" thing... but he made me wonder if I'm wasting time with people who aren't serious. Has anyone else had a conversation that made you pivot how you approach these apps?

3 comments

3 Comments

the_christopher1mo ago

Had a friend go through something similar last year. She matched with this guy who was all about "dating intentionally" and honestly it freaked her out at first. But she gave it a chance and they ended up dating for like 8 months before it fizzled out. The thing is, he was super upfront about wanting kids and a house and all that, which she wasn't ready for. But the way he communicated made her realize she'd been just coasting with people who didn't care about her at all. She said even though it didn't work out, it changed how she approached dates. Now she actually asks people what they're looking for pretty early on instead of just assuming we're all vibing. Saved her from a few dead end situations.

foster.jordan1mo ago

Hmm, I see it different, @the_christopher... sometimes being too upfront too fast just pushes people away.

the_jamie1mo ago

Wait, was he actually cool about it or did he come off as pushy? I had a thing happen to me once where I was talking to this girl and she threw out the "looking for my husband" line by like the third day. It made me sit back and really look at how I'd been dating, just kind of going through the motions with people. Turns out I was doing it wrong for years, just hanging out with people who weren't on the same page at all. It's wild how one blunt conversation can shake up your whole approach to these apps. Sometimes you need that one person to call you out, even if things don't work out with them.